Shwag’s Blog

7:15 did not hear alarm

7:48 hear my phone text message from my mom; read it “I forgot to wake you up sorry.” I’m up I’m up and run into the shower.

8:20 Starbucks on the Deagan near Stews. I’m always hesitant about getting my coffee from baristas that do not know me but I was pressed for time and in the rest stop there was only 1 other car me and a Bentley. I liked this Bentley guy already, assuming he is a guy, a very good looking guy because he parked right in the front and not super far away scared to get his car hit. (I dislike those people I used to know one well). But on the other hand there were no other cars anywhere. Go in order my Starbucks there was a usual named Ralph, in their so I felt safe. (Ralph drove a new BMW 5 series). Cute guy with gasses on nice slacks and black shoes and tie with long hair comes out of the bathroom, definitely Bentley guy. Good
I love my outfit today Kohl’s Vera Wang skirt, purple suede Charles Nolan pumps with dark tights, black suit jacket and my favorite Club Monaco black turtle neck sweater (you know it) that you all have seen me it, I wear it so much it now has holes on the arms and my black Francisco Biassa bag. I walk to my car and Bentley guy is behind me I turn and he runs back in I have a feeling he is having diarrhea which is why I am always weary about my baristas now I just watch them to make sure they put soy in my cup. (Oh I received the black card not from American Express but from Starbucks yesterday in the mail and I threw it out, it offers 10% off all purchases and some other perks but there a $39.00 annual fee and although I would probably save lots of money I tore it up and threw it out ).

8:34 on the Tappan Zee Bridge, oh god the Tappan Zee!!!! Fishkill is not over the Tappan Zee it’s too late, I can’t get off so now

8:37 I’m over the Tappan see and get off on 9W and go straight to the shoulder. Should I cha cha, pull out my map, no I’ll call Mauti. Who else would you call when your lost and its 8:37 am a guy you hardly know. You see I’m suppose to be in Fishkill and usually I take the Taconic but I got new directions and I was suppose to get out before the bridge. So Thanks to Mauti he gave me directions because there was no way in hell I was going back over the Tappan Zee.

I mean literally the traffic was back up from as far north as Woodbury commons. If I lived up there I would train it, work from home or not work at all. And all those Jersey peeps seriously don’t be scared of the GW at least that bridge isn’t sinking. I call the Court and tell them I’ll be very late told them where I was and they didn’t even know how long it would take me to get there I assumed an hour. Last time I was in a bind like this I called Marie to navigate me out of the hills of Buchannan but she was in class and Mauti’s directions were great! Nan that is way he is “THE Mauti.”

9:02 still on 9W thinking I should stop at Rosie O’Donnell’s house so she can helicopter me to Fishkill, this street never ends, pass three towns a million drive ways all with huge no u turn signs to match their houses, Rockland Golf Course, Sparkill State Park , if I go anymore west I’ll be in Jersey. Even though I called the Court having a mini panic attack open the sunroof, cut the heat put on Dave Matthews Live at Red Rocks, because my radio doesn’t work because (although I haven’t looked for it) when I went to get an oil change 2 weeks again I came out sans an antenna and since I’m north of White Plains I’m not getting any reception. Sparkles is sending me an antenna, last time I went there I came out with a flat and no brake lights but anyways.

9:24 finally I’m back on the 87 to Albany I pass the exit for Macintyre Orchards where we went apple picking, I see a Pepsi plant, pass some state prison in Beacon I didn’t even know they had up there, Walden, start thinking about traveling the extra 289 miles to Montreal, put on Dave’s under the table and dreaming try to follow a gasoline truck so I don’t smoke a pack of cigarettes and finally see exit 17, 17 miles away (I should play 17 in the lottery) and I go over the 84 Newburgh Beacon Bridge pass Stewart airport which I know the area well and into Fishkill .

10: 08 in Court nice building everyone so nice and friendly signs on bathroom doors to make sure you shut the lights, the two court officers reminded me of characters on 50’s late night how they were joking around with each other.

10:18 out of Court back into the car. Feel satisfied why do conferences there start at 8:30 and Court start at 9? Yesterday I was in City Court on time at 9:35 and court didn’t start until after 11. Court Clerk calls me, Sergeant from Valhalla calls me, new client calls me, opposing counsel calls me, and I’m never leaving the parking lot.

10:20 in the car handling mini crises

10:48 Run back into Court begging the Fishkill clerk to let me use her fax machine.

11:00 fill the car up with gas $33.00 awesome 11:16 find a Panera, car/dog wash, and Starbucks all in one strip mall. Across the street was Cracker Barrel hmmmmm. I see a sign for Marist and Poughkeepsie. Nan Mystery solved I now know where Marist is and am hoping to run into my train friend

11:20 on line at Panera and hear the manager screaming at an employee and the employee grabbling the coffee manual out of her hand and saying “why can’t I just make my own customers drink” “she doesn’t want a caramel late” “she wants a caramel coffee with steamed milk” oh man, if you need watches you go to a Tourneau or Watch World, if you need sneakers you go to Footlocker or VIM on the Grand Concourse if you need coffee please stick to Dunkin or Starbs. Than poor Jimmy gets orders and he is obviously an employee of Panera I mean he is wearing the uniform and the perky girl behind the corner questions him, asks for his name and his number and calls the manager over. Which was good because those two were screaming over behind the espresso machine. She again asks for Jimmy’s number 652 he says.

Oh man this is too good I think. Like are they pretending 2 seconds ago they weren’t giving him the orders and he was making the sandwiches. I’m amazed. I order my ½ hummus veggie sandwich and cup of veggies soup from the manager and wait. I sit across from Jimmy and still hear those two fighting over coffee, why is this man waiting just go to Starbucks. I look at my receipt and realize she never asked me if I wanted baguette/roll or apple chips I should go and complain. But instead I get a client call and eat the bread and want a loaf. Walking out I see the coffee chick hysterical crying talking to another manager about how she knows she has to work on identifying threats. Wow is it that long I have been out of the customer service/food industry what happened to sexual harassment training and constructive criticism.

11:56 thinking about going into the Car/Dog wash to check it out, but I’m scared of dogs so jumped into my car.

12:01 thinking about Jimmy and how long he’ll last at Panera Bread while I’m ordering my second Starbucks at the drive through, this time a Venti quad all decaf my heart was racing enough this morning with one regular shot.

12:30 driving back on the Taconic and its pouring, I try to adjust my lap belt bc I’m suddenly feeling uncomfortable and realize I have no business wearing even if it’s a high wasted skirt, a size 4. Especially after 2 Venti coffees and Panera.

1:14 arrive in the South Bronx the second half of my day begins, 3 DMB cds later and still wondering why the aduience goes nuts for Daves African’s friends making weird noises and speaking in a language they do not understand.

Side Note: The writers of Sweet Valley high remember those blond Twin book series well I think they lived in Wappinger falls, or was the baby sitters club, anyways it doesn’t matter I think the writer didn’t research and just thought she created the name and place, because Wappinger Falls does not look like what was depicted in those books. I always told my mom that I wanted to leave there; thank God she didn’t take me seriously.

What I have learned today: Avoid the Tappan zee at rush hour its beginning to look worse than Staten Island, waive to state troopers when you are driving back they like that and Geek Squad has big trucks to store all their geeks in and if you work at Panera don’t ever forget your number because even if you are wearing your uniform you will not be able to get your 20% percent discount without it, oh and most important lesson learned I don’t fit into a size 4.